UPDATE: Lil Mama apologizes to transgender contestant Leoimy Maldonado and the LGBT community

Lil Mama

UPDATE (September 16, 2009): Lil Mama apologizes to transgender contestant Leoimy Maldonado and the LGBT community.

America’s Best Dance Crew judge Lil Mama has issued an apology to the LGBT community and transgender contestant Leiomy Maldonado, the Advocate reports:

“I would like to clarify anything that was misunderstood from Sunday’s show,” Lil Mama said in a statement released by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. “My remarks were never meant to be disrespectful regarding Leiomy’s gender nor offensive to the LGBT community, which has been a community that has supported me in all my endeavors. However, in hindsight, I recognize that my words may have come across as hurtful. I spoke with her privately after the taping to express that it was not my intent to offend her or any member of the transgender community and that I still live for Vogue Evolution.”

SoCal Voice commends Lil Mama for her humility and for owning up to her misstep. We all do it so let’s let by-gones be by-gones.

-SoCal Voice Team

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Ashley Love

by Ashley Love

Dear Leiomy Maldonado,

My name is Ashley Love. Like you, I am also a human being, a woman and a feminine spirit. Like you, it has also been decided by others that I am to be labeled a “transgender woman” by society. So for the sake of educating, I sometimes submit to that label so I can encourage people to un-brainwash themselves from their fear of people who are born with birth challenges like us.

First off, I want to thank you so much for being so brave and going on that reality show. I’m sure you must have known a lot of ignorant people would be waiting in line to throw stones at anyone who had the courage to be true to their humanity. You are such an amazing dancer! And thank you so much for being such a positive role model to people who are oppressed by society. You are not just a role model to trans folks, you are a role model to all people who just want to live their lives, defy obstacles and pursue their dreams!

I was horrified tonight when Lil Mama attacked you the way she did. My heart sank when she ignorantly commented on your gender identity. As you know, your relationship with your dance crew, and whether or not you wanted to continue on the show, has absolutely nothing to do with your womanhood! Lil Mama’s job was to judge your dance, not to express bigot talk! Not only is what Lil Mama said offensive and out of place, but it was straight out inaccurate! She had her terminology all messed up. She said you were born a “man”, but actually (as people educated on diversity like us know), you were born with girl gender, and perhaps an unusual anatomy. “Man” is a gender term, not a physiological term. Also, she said you are “becoming” a woman, but it’s obvious that you already are a woman, and have always been one. Just because you were born with a body that did not align with your spirit, does not mean that your gender was not always what you know in your heart and mind it has always been, which is woman. She was also out of line to say you were not acting like “a lady” simply because you were being harassed by your team mates and wanted space from them.

Hypocrites rub me the wrong way a bit, and it is bizarre that Lil Mama made it her place to say you were not acting like “a lady”, when here she is on National television saying the most transphobic and verbally violent comments to you (which is not “ladylike”)! I also Googled some of her rap song lyrics, which are not necessarily the epitome of “ladylikeness” either, so I am confused as to why she thinks she is the supreme judge of what’s “ladylike” or not. Lil “Mama” failed to live up what a “mama” is supposed to be, which is a role that is nurturing, loving and protective. Instead, she did the opposite.

It is also interesting to note, that in my research tonight, I saw online that Lil Mama is constantly ridiculed by her own black hip hop community as looking like “a man’, or being referred to as a “transsexual”. (The transphobia, homophobia, misogyny and objectification of black women in hip-hop culture is hurting the African American community big time!) I am saddened that people think it’s ok to call Lil Mama outside her gender. I feel the pain she must feel when she reads those hurtful blogs. It upsets me that we live in a culture where black women are many times considered in pop culture and society as “looking masculine” when they don’t have Eurocentric features. I am surprised that a woman like Lil Mama who has to put up with attacks on her gender and sex constantly, would turn around and do the same to you! Generally speaking, why is that people who do not feel good about themselves get satisfaction out of making others feel the same? I had 2nd thoughts about bringing up the fact that Lil Mama herself is a victim of transphobia, because I did not want to possibly put her through the same pain in this open letter that she put you through, but I ended up deciding that it is important for people to understand that people who are secure in their own identity, do not try to degrade someone else’s identity, like Lil Mama chose to do to you tonight.

Leiomy, I hope you know that you have a community who is extremely upset of the way you were treated tonight, and are expressing themselves in your defense online. But more importantly, you have legions of fans that adored you from the moment you stepped on that stage weeks ago, danced and then shamelessly advocated for our community. The same fans you had before Lil Mama tried to degrade you are still your fans. Your good and authentic intentions are more powerful then ignorant and judgmental ideas. I am sorry you have to put up with so many people’s fear, but your confidence is contagious, and you are changing hearts and minds every week!

The main thing I want to tell you is to please keep dancing! Please don’t let negative situations or comments block you from being the beauty, inspiring light and talent that you are! Endure, sustain, keep on fighting, and keep on loving! You have already won! I understand how you may be feeling. I remember when I rejected my dreams because I was intimidated by all the propaganda, fear, ignorance and hate against our community. I just wanted to blend in and not advocate for human being equality because the “supporters of conformity” had convinced me that my love was powerless, and that I didn’t count. But then I met fearless people, like you, who unveiled my eyes, and after I saw the light, the “campaigners of fear” no longer had a hold on me! Please don’t let our detractors bully you into hiding, or to not continue to stand true as an authentic individual.

I do hope that Lil Mama has a change of heart and apologizes to you, and to all the trans people she offended with her remarks. But even if she doesn’t do the right thing and admit her wrongdoing, you should know that many enlightened people saw your show tonight, and their jaws dropped when Lil Mama shockingly called you outside your truth, and we are with you princess, trust!

This is one chapter of your life, and you have your whole life ahead of you. I personally know how hard it must be to be depicted inhumanely like that on TV, but know that all my friends and I (and looking online, many others as well) saw was that even though you were unfairly persecuted, that after the shock of Lil Mama’s poor choice of drama provoking/inaccurate words, all that resonated was your humanity and beauty.

Stay strong, and in the words of Lady Gaga, “JUST DANCE” !!!

Your sister in the movement for human being equality, Ashley Love

P.S. my email is magnet_right_now@yahoo.com. I would love to hear from you (or from anyone who cares about human being equality)

Ashley Love is a woman of trans experiance, and is an advocate for LGBT rights. She is the organizer of Media Advocates Giving National Equality to Trans (MAGNET)- an anti-defamation organization dedicated to educating the media about transgender issues, as well as pushing for more authentic and positive portrayals of trans people in the media. Ashley is also a poet, novelist, journalist, and spoken word performer.

Ashley Love is the executive producer and creator of the Internet show, Trans Forming Media (TFM). TFM is a show where the trans community comes together and makes media that truly reflects themselves, and provides authentic content to give society the chance to see the real identities of trans people. TFM is not only a talk show where many trans people will use their voices and artwork to inspire change and entertain, but it is a place to enroll non trans people to witness the trans community.