Editor’s Note:This is a cross-post from 8 Blog. Reed Cowan is the director of a film about how millions of lives were destroyed by “8: The MORMON PROPOSITION”.
by Reed Cowan
Second only to the death of my child, making this film has been the most difficult and emotional experience of my life. I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that at this point in production, I feel beat up.
Spiritually beat up. Mentally beat up. Emotionally beat up. Beat up, yes. And bolstered too.
At the beginning of production, I found myself in the dead of winter last year, in a small room at Utah’s LGBT Center readying myself for a full day of interviews. I had put out a call for anyone in Utah who had feelings about Mormon involvement in LGBT politics, especially California’s Proposition 8, to come sit before our cameras, and confess their feelings.
I wondered, “will anyone show up?” I knew the stories were intensely personal. I knew from my own experience as a gay Mormon, that those personal stories came with a great deal of pain. And I wrongly thought that if anyone showed up, they would certainly be full of anger, bitterness and spiritual bile for what has been alleged the Mormon Church did and still does to quash ANY pro-gay LGBT legislation anywhere it exists.
Soon, people began to show up. Show up and line up.
For hours they waited to tell their stories. In the cold, they waited. Moms and dads, grandmas and grandpas, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, gay and straight. All people wanting and willing to tell their stories. All people who felt that what the Mormon Church did in California and in other states is wrong. We interviewed non-stop for twelve hours. No meal-breaks. There was simply no time.
But in the words of those who waited for hours, there was no bitterness. Only hope for a better tomorrow. Only prayers for change. I left, edified and determined.
Determined to finish this film. Determined to get the stories of LGBT people from all over the United States who feel slighted by the work of Mormons out to the world.
My determination has been tested. At this writing, I have lost communication with my sisters and my mother and my father. They are wonderful people and they are Mormons. The fear they have over what this film will say has worn thin to the point that our relationships are stressed and I fear broken forever.
I’ve agonized over hurting them and I’ve agonized over hurting my other devoutly Mormon friends and family by releasing this film.
For the anticipated hurts, I sincerely apologize. I wish no one on this planet pain.
But I finish this film as a promise to those who came to share their stories. A promise that I heard them. A promise that I felt their words and their desires. A promise that I won’t let their words stay on a quiet tape somewhere locked away.
One of the most articulate spokespeople for civil rights is holocaust survivor, Elie Weisel (NIGHT).
The words he once spoke drive me to continue my work to get this film out to the masses.
“I swore never to be silent whenever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”
Indeed, on this issue, I have taken sides. I side with civil rights. And I give you “8: THE MORMON PROPOSITION” in pursuit of the day when we all know a world where civil rights are extended happily to all.
i am amazed. civil rights will never be extended to “all”. There will always be a new fad, trend, group, perversion, whatever….that wants to be validated and accepted. Let gays have some sort of legal union, but NO to changing the way the rest of us define the sacred union of marriage. i am tired of hearing gay people state that straight people desecrate that sanctity through adultery, divorce, etc. That has nothing to do with it. What we need to spend our time pushing onto society is not gay rights, but human improvement. Pushing tv shows and other avenues to further the agenda of creating solid families that benefit society with a father and a mother. Thats the only way families can be created, with a father and a mother. If your argument is that gays should adopt, you are wrong. Families should be strengthened to the point where adoption is not necessary. Teens should abstain from sex. People should be moral. That is the dream. Too big for gay people? Then dream small. But know your dream is selfish. Not what is best for American society, or world society for that matter. I will finish with two points. 1) We all have equal rights. Straight people have the right to marry members of the opposite sex, so do gay people. Thats right, straight people do NOT HAVE THE RIGHT to marry members of the same sex. 2) you were not born gay. Just because I am attracted to thousands of women on this earth, it does not mean I was born to commit illicit fornication or adultery. All passions are not meant to be indulged. Quit lying to yourselves. Its sad. There is no way that your God in heaven put you on this earth to live your life in a union that does not add to the human family, that prohibits procreation, and that all your days are to be spent fighting for the cause of homosexuals. There are greater causes I hate to say. Your time is being wasted. EVEN IF YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT, we all need to waste less time and fight more nobal causes. Reed Cowan, If you had insisted on being gay your whole life, and never tried to live in a marriage you felt Your “religion” forced you into, you never would have had one single moment with that beautiful little boy you lost. Don’t forget that. God blessed you for fighting your gay temptations and marrying one of his daughters. I hope for your happiness. But i promise, even if you win this battle, you will never win the war. You will never be at peace, none of you, until you admit you are fighting the wrong war. A selfish war. A destructive war. A war based on physical attraction and sexual orientation is the silliest, most vain and superficial ambition I believe I could ever imagine.
That’s part of the problem here Moreman. You seem to lack any imagination, logic or an ability to think for yourself. Most, if not all, of “Christians,” and “Mormons,” are morons incapable of forming a thought for themselves and had to be led by the nose by their church. What’s perverted is your insistence that gay people live our lives in accordance to the dictate of your religion. That’s crap! You can live your life based on your convictions all you want but when you go trying to force your lifestyle on other people then that’s when we have a problem. Not only are you ignorant, your stupidity in claiming civil rights will never be extended to “all” is baseless. If history teaches us anything, it is that all men are created equal and that “the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice.” Gay, bisexual, transgender and lesbians (yes, all of us) will sooner rather than later win our full equality in American society, whether you like it or not so get used to it buddy boy! I am sick and tired of hearing bigots blame the failures of the heterosexual family on gay people and gay marriage. Heterosexual divorce and adultery does desecrated the sanctity of marriage. That goes for all forms of relationships. It’s not the responsibility of gay people to strengthen the family unit of straight people, it’s your own damn responsibility. How does prohibiting gay marriage, as if you will be able to control us for long, help strengthen straight marriage. If your implication is that it will force gay people into heterosexual relationships then you are clueless. As far as adoptions are concerned, if you care so much about the family unit and the welfware of the children then why don’t you find loving homes for thousands if not millions of orphans that are being abused within the system? How fucking dare you telling me that I am not holy and not of God? God is everything or he is nothing and I am of God and I come from God just like your pathetic ass is. The implication that marriage is a sacred thing from God and excluding gays from that sacred institution because we are not of God will never hold water. You will lose this battle and you will lose this war. For as long as I live and as long as any of the LGBT community lives, we will fight this injustice until we win equal protection under the law. I don’t give a fuck about your acceptance, validation or approval of me or my gayness. All I want, and will get, is recognition in the eyes of the law that I am equal. There’s no amount of shameful deceit, lies and tricks that you bigots can pull that will stop that foreward march toward that destination. This is your dying gasp. We’ve won on the hate crimes battle, we’ll will on the marriage equality front as well. Get ready. You haven’t seen anything yet!
A pissed off faggot,
-Nakhone Keodara
SoCal Voice, Founder and Publisher