by Colin Hiles

Let’s start out with an important life question – When was the last time you really sat down and gave yourself the space to think about who you are, what’s really important to you and what you want from life?

Most of the people I coach rarely sit and assess where they are in life. The ‘knee jerk’ excuse I hear when I ask what prevents them is the big T word – TIME!

It seems the big things like hopes, dreams, plans and ambitions come secondary to life stuff – work to do, meals to cook, friends to see, places to go. In the whirlwind of daily life it’s easy to let life fly by. Making time to think deeply about your vision of the good life is a vital step to having the B.A.L.L.S to realizing those dreams.

A little defining is necessary…

The key words in “Liberate Your Life with a Vision” require some explaining to fully understand their meaning:

LIBERATE

The dictionary gives the definition of “The state of not being in confinement or servitude.”

To be liberated is to be unbounded by the status quo. The status quo for most people in the UK is to work hard, strive and struggle all their life, save hard (or build a pension) and then retire to the ‘good life’ in Southern Spain!

But is that what you really want? To work for 40-ish years and start living the good life when you are past your prime? Not if you are a Midlife Maverick!

Mavericks, by definition, live unconventional lives; they rebel against the status quo and have no desire to adopt the deferred-life plan.

Midlife Mavericks relentlessly question some of the basic assumptions underpinning our daily existence. Assumptions such as having to wait until you retire to enjoy your life, or that you have to be a multi-millionaire to live a rich and lavish existence.

In Sept 2004 the family and I started a year long sabbatical on the tiny Canary Island of Fuerteventura. When we announced our intention to do this, many well-meaning friends advised me not to take a year out because I was at the top of my income earning ability (another assumption) and I might not have a job when I returned! I was told to max out on my income earning ability and instead of taking a year out now, bring retirement forward by a few years. In their eyes that made more sense.

Midlife mavericks are not interested in what make sense. Life is too short!

Like many other Midlife Mavericks, I’m only interested in designing a more authentic way of living. I’ve no desire to take my final breath thinking that the second half of my life was full of “should haves” and “could haves.”

I don’t want to be somebody who dies at forty but isn’t buried until eighty. I’ve met many people who only lived for a short time but took a long time to die!

In 2008 – three years after returning from the little island and radically changing our life, a good friend came out to stay with us in Spain. The book he was reading at the time was Tim Ferris’ ‘The 4 Hour Work Week. Escape The 9-5, Live Anywhere And Join The New Rich.’

I was intrigued by the title and like most people who first pick up the book, I was skeptical (still am!)

Now…I could spend few days writing about the many insights I got from the book (it certainly caused me to raise my personal bar) but I would like to share a nice distinction Tim makes:

People don’t want to be millionaires – they want to experience what they believe millions can buy. Ski chalets, butlers, and exotic travel often enter the picture. Perhaps rubbing cocoa butter on your belly in a hammock while you listen to the waves rhythmically lapping against the deck of your thatched roof bungalow? Sounds nice.

$1,000, 000 in the bank isn’t the fantasy. The fantasy is the lifestyle of complete freedom it supposedly allows. The question is then, How can one achieve the millionaire lifestyle of complete freedom without first having $1,000,000?

Great question! When we took our year sabbatical, we learnt firsthand that you don’t need a million in the bank to live the good life. That year on the island we survived on a fraction of the money we’d lived on in the UK and still lived like Kings and Queens.

To have an uncommon lifestyle you need to challenge and test every assumption that’s imprisoning you from a life unlived.

YOUR

It’s up to you to decide what your destiny will be and how you are going to reach it. If you don’t decide on the direction you want to go in someone else will certainly decide it for you. My first mentor said to me, “You are either working for an inventor (the media, your company, the government, or society in general) or you are the inventor of your life. It’s your life, take responsibility!”

LIFE

Life is made up of many facets, and no one facet is more or less important than another. A meaningful life is one of balance. An expanded vision includes your ‘whole life’

Love and relationships, health and wellbeing, professional and work, lifestyle and leisure. There are many ways that people define the good life. Richard Leider, author and coach defines it as, “living in the place you belong, with people you love, while doing the right work on purpose … Purpose is the glue that holds the Good Life together.”

James A. Michener put it like this: “The masters in the art of living make little distinction between their work and their play, their labor and their leisure, their minds and their bodies, their information, their recreation, their love and their religion. They hardly know which is which; they simply pursue their vision of excellence at whatever they do, leaving others to decide whether they are working or playing.”

VISION

Real visioning is a function of your heart not your head. It’s alignment with your authentic essence. It allows you to tap into the deeper aspect of who you are and ‘see’ your future. Real visioning happens when you sit in silence and allow yourself (ego) to dissolve into the something beyond the conscious mind, the historic story to the greater story. It is from this quiet and still place that you can see your life and how it unfolds for the highest good. Carl Jung says that “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” This vision gives your life a reference point to determine if you are on or off-track

Real Life Mavericks

Here is a case study of a family who have liberated their life by living THEIR vision of the good life. Meet the midlife maverick Soultravelers3.

A digital nomadic family who are into their 3rd year of an open ended world tour, blazing a trail for a new way of being in the 21st century! Called “one of the best family travel blogs in cyberspace” by National Geographic Traveler, Soultravelers3 is the initiative of Jeanne D’Arc, Da Vinci and Ms. Mozart – a family of three who nicknamed themselves after some of their heroes.

Here’s what they have to say: “We are a very ordinary family and we are into our third year of an open-ended world tour, living well and traveling to four continents, 29 countries and over 75,000 miles while living on $25K a year! Many are looking at new ways of being in these economic times and we want everyone to know that this is a great way to live. Today it is possible to work and school anywhere! We find it to be much cheaper and more enriching to travel the world than to live at home.”

Create Your Good Life Vision Map

Are you inspired to start designing your life vision?

If you are, we are going to use a powerful and fun technique to create your ‘Good Life Vision Map’.dsc01960

The outcome of your good life vision map is to show YOU in your ideal life vision. Aristotle observed that “the soul never thinks without a picture” and a Good Life Vision Map is an actual, physical picture of your vision of the good life. It is valuable because it forms a clear, sharp image which can then attract and focus energy into your life vision

The purpose of Life Vision Mapping is:

1. To impress the images of your ideal life on your powerful unconscious mind.
2. To help with the visualisation process if that’s something you have difficulty doing.
3. To keep you focused on your vision especially if you put it somewhere you can see it.
4. To give you the opportunity to ‘see’ your ideal vision in a clear, sharp image as if it was already realised.

Create Your Good Life Vision Map In Four Steps

Following these four incredibly powerful steps will help you attract whatever the ‘good life’ means to you, be it vibrant health, the job you love or greater overall happiness.

Step One:

Collect pictures from magazines depicting everything you would really love to have in your ideal ‘good life’. Ask yourself: “If I had all the time, money and resources and I could be or have anything at all in life, what would bring me the most happiness?” If you’re in a relationship, I suggest you both independently collect images and have a ‘share’ night. Take it in turns to show and tell. Show your partner the image and tell them why you chose it.

Step Two:
Stick the images onto a large piece of card. I suggest you segment the card into life elements – health, relationships, career etc – and stick the relevant images to the appropriate life element. Add numbers to each picture depicting the number of years in the future you’d like to achieve the image.

Step Three:

Once you’ve completed the map, visualise and feel it as real in your mind. Project forward to the date you’ve set and create a clear mental image of what the good life looks like for you. Imagine the kind of life that would be ideal for you in every way. Visualize the end result – and only the end result – in your mind’s eye. Get a clear mental picture of it.

Here’s the important piece – as you mentally imagine your perfect future, enjoy the feelings you’d have if you were already living and experiencing the good life right NOW. How would it feel? Feel as if it’s already been achieved. Really soak it up! It should feel like you are radiating bliss from every cell and fiber of your being each time you close your eyes and visualize.

Take a colour picture of you map, print it off and get it laminated so you can carry it around with you.

Step Four:

Spend five to ten minutes of quiet time every day visualising your vision of the good life and feeling the good feelings that are associated with it. The best times to do this are first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Consistency and repetition gives this four step process amazing creative power.

As always, comments and retweets are welcomed.

This is a cross-post from Midlife Maverick, a blog Colin Hiles founded to help you follow your smile, discover your right livelihood and create your ideal life.

by Colin Hiles

Work is a huge part of our lives, not a separate entity. To live your ideal lifestyle requires you to choose work that leverages your unique talents and passions as a true expression of who you are.

You have a unique (like a thumb print) combination of talents, passions, skills and qualities that predisposes you to certain kinds of work. Life skill number three is about knowing yourself well enough to know what your talents and passions are and then finding an avenue where you can leverage them to serve others and do good in the world. This is about finding your life’s purpose or vocational calling.

Job or Vocation?

Many of us spend most of our waking hours on the job or doing work-related tasks. With so much time spent working, the way you view your professional life strongly impacts your sense of well-being and happiness. Your attitude toward work can generally be classified in 1 of 2 ways.

1. People who work as a means to an end (such as money or status) tend to view employment as a job. What they do and where they do it is irrelevant, since the job is only a means to earn money and pay the bills.

2. Whilst most workers understand jobs, few work in a way that reflects their true vocation. A vocation, Latin for ‘Calling’ is an occupation that manifests both personal gifts and passions to a common good.

While one classification of work is not necessarily ‘better’ than another, research suggests that the most satisfied amongst us are those whose jobs are part of an overall career that ultimately serves their vocation. Your vocation is tied to your sense of meaning and life-purpose.

Play to Your Strengths

Unfortunately for most of us, we’ve been conditioned to focus on trying to improve our weaknesses. It starts primarily in our families, then throughout our schooling years and eventually follows us into our careers. What’s been your experience? How does the conversation go in your performance review? Is it focused on improving your strengths or fixing weaknesses?

I think I know the answer!

According to a multinational survey conducted by Gallup, only 20 percent of people feel they get a chance to do what they’re best at whilst at work. In his best-selling book, ‘Now, Discover Your Strengths’ Marcus Buckingham writes that the idea of sticking to what you’re good at is the foundation for a meaningful and satisfying career.

One of the biggest myths in today’s world perpetuates the belief that improvement comes from working on weaknesses. Whilst we all need to work on our rough edges, it’s a total waste of time, talent, and opportunity to focus exclusively on fixing weaknesses. It’s also hugely energy draining!

Here’s a brutal fact: mavericks, as well as entrepreneurs, scientists, artists, athletes, entertainers, and leaders achieve greatness by focusing on their strengths. They understand what they’re good at and find ways to maximize their uniqueness. Each of us is ‘gifted’ in some way. I can do some things better than you and you can do some things better than I can.

Your strengths are the platform from which you can excel and add value to the world. Unfortunately, you might not have learned to recognize your strengths. You may discount them as unimportant because they are second nature or come easy.

Vocation – Part Time, Full Time?

I believe everyone has the potential to make a living from their passions and talents but I need to make an important distinction here. I see many mid-lifers made to feel bad because of messages like, “you should be doing what you love for a living” or “when you do what you love you’ll never work another day in your life.” These statements may be true for some but many feel like a failure because they’re not doing what they love for a living!

It’s perfectly legitimate to have a job that pays the bills, keeps a roof over your head and puts food on the table and also have a ‘calling’ that you do alongside, but don’t derive an income from. Don’t beat yourself up or feel like a failure because what you do for a living is not fulfilling your vocational calling – it doesn’t always have to. What I don’t advocate is spending long hours in a job that’s not leveraging your talents and passions. Just making a living and not making meaning is a recipe for inner stress.

Finding Your Vocational Calling

If joy is lacking in the area of work for you follow this simple (but not easy to do) three step process:

1. Figure what you are good at and enjoy (do what you love and what comes easy)
2. Align it with what people want or need (find people who need it)
3. Sell it to them (get people to pay for it)

Discovering Your Talents

Firstly ask yourself:

1. What am I good at?
2. What do I look forward to doing next week?

Spend time probing into your gifts and talents. Ask co-workers, friends and family what you are good at.

Uncovering Your Passion

Secondly ask yourself:

1. What am I passionate about?
2. What do I enjoy doing?

In order to be able to serve others you first have to do what brings you the most joy.

Provide Meaningful Service

Lastly, many vocational callings have a strong service element so if you want to derive an income from your ‘calling’ make sure you think about your talents and passions with other people in mind.

Look at your unique talents and passions that are valued by other people in the world (not just you!). If you give people something they value, they will be happy to pay you for it. To get some extra clarity around this get some answers to these questions:

1. Whom do you want to serve?
2. How can you use your gifts and talents to serve them?
3. What is the problem you can fix for them?
4. How much can you charge for your service?

Putting Your Talents and Passions into Play

Now that you know what your talents and passions are, it’s time to put them into play. To do this it’s much easier to start small and build from there. This week find two specific activities that bring your talents and passions into play.

Create a plan to add one to two strengths each week. As you add your strengths each week you can let go of activities that diminish your strengths and leave you feeling weak.

Investing your time and energy being great at something is a lifelong discipline but the changes will be profound and lasting. You’ll be happier and the recipients (work colleges and customers) will reward you for your superbness.

This is a cross-post from Midlife Maverick, a blog Colin Hiles founded to help you follow your smile, discover your right livelihood and create your ideal life.

by Colin Hiles

Do you trust your inner guidance system? Have you ever had a gut feeling that defied logic and turned out to be true?

You have an inner guidance system that’s attempting to direct you on your true path 24 hours a day all year long. The BIG challenge is you may not be totally aware of it or not know how to access it. Life skill #2 must be developed if you are going to make any progress towards the life you are meant to live. Living your ideal life has to be created from the inside out. When you follow you inner guidance system (IGS) you will be lead to a life that’s exquisitely right for you.

Your IGS manifests itself as a feeling of “rightness”. It’s connected to your authentic self, your true identity, the real you. The second life skill is learning to recognise this feeling and then have the courage (trust) to follow it. Essentially it’s about connecting your heart with your head.

In 1925 the great psychoanalyst Carl Jung went to Taos Pueblo in New Mexico. There he met the chief of the native people, Ochwiay Biano. Biano told Jung that according to his people, the Whites were ‘mad ‘- uneasy, restless, always wanting something. Jung enquired as to why he thought they were mad. The chief replied that it was because they thought with their heads, a sure sign of mental illness among his tribe. Jung asked him how he thought and he pointed to his heart.

Have you even just done something because it feels right? Maybe something small like choosing an Italian meal over a Chinese meal, or this piece of clothing over that piece of clothing. Maybe it was a bigger life decision like choosing to live in a different country or to break away from a poisonous relationship. Of course you have! In these cases we lead with the heart (feeling) and the head follows.

Have you ever ignored the feeling of rightness and done the opposite? Followed your head and not your heart, and become an intellectual bulldozer?!!! Of course you have! We all have. This is how you find yourself in relationships that drain you, take on tasks you hate and work 10-hour days in jobs that leave you flat and unfulfilled.

When you ignore the direction your authentic self is advising you to follow, you make your life very stressful. An over reliance of the “head” path often results in success without joy and achievement without meaning. The “head” path is the path that is logical and practical. You ignore the feelings in your heart for the sake of “doing the right thing” in the eyes of others.

Think of the last three decisions you’ve made recently. They might be work or life related, large or small. Which part of you, head or heart, took charge of each decision? How would that decision have changed if you’d lead with the heart?

It’s important to know what you feel as well as what you think. Feelings tell you what you value. When you follow your feeling of rightness you lead from within. When you lead from within you’ll be guided to the work you wish to do, the place you’d like to live, the people you’d like to attract and, ultimately, your ideal lifestyle.

Pressing The Pause Button

To reconnect with your IGS it’s important to check in with how you feel before you make any decisions. Hit the pause button – slow down – breath into your body and become aware of how you feel. Does it feel “right?” Is there any tension or stress in your body – if so where?

Pressing the pause button and breathing into the feeling will quickly connect you with your heart. Once you start paying attention you’ll soon start to recognise your inner guidance at work.

With daily practice you can open up and strengthen this heart connection. You’ll soon instinctively start to know what you really want in any given situation. Over the next week, become aware of how you’re feeling when you’re faced with a choice – big or small.

Be awake. Be aware!

Look out for the next post on life skill #3. Leverage your talents and passions.

This is a cross-post from Midlife Maverick, a blog Colin Hiles founded to help you follow your smile, discover your right livelihood and create your ideal life.

by Colin Hiles

There are a number of skills that you will need to master in if you wish to live your ideal life. The bad news is that most of these life skills are not taught to us in educational institutions so I’ve dedicated the next four blogs to exploring each of these 5 life skills and how to master them.

I’ll warn you up front it’s going to take B.A.L.L.S to master these 5 life skills and be a midlife maverick.

They are:
Life skill #1 – Belief in yourself
Life skill #2 – Align with your inner guidance system
Life skill #3 – Leverage your talents and passions
Life skill #4 – Liberate your life with a vision
Life skill #5 – Strategy development and execution

Life Skill #1 Belief In Yourself

Ok, let’s start out with an important question: How much do you believe in yourself? – 50%? 75%? 100%

Does it really matter??? Answer, “YES!”

Let me follow that up with a brutal FACT: a positive self belief is a prerequisite for achieving anything and everything in life. The first life skill you’ll need to learn, if you’re to stand any chance of manifesting your ideal lifestyle, is to develop a strong belief in yourself and your capability.

Through conditioning you’ve become the person you believe you are, and you achieve only what you think and believe you are capable of. This life skill is #1 because self belief is foundational. Self belief is strongly linked to self esteem and self confidence and these are ESSENTIAL for any kind of inner contentment, happiness and success in life.

Before you can start to vision what you’re ideal lifestyle is, you first have to believe that you have the capability to achieve it. Without this belief, you’ll never attempt to do anything about manifesting it. Lack of self belief leads to “what’s the point” thinking – what’s the point of imagining a better life when you’ve already convinced yourself that you are incapable of achieving it?

I’ve met some very successful (defined as living life on their terms) mavericks in my time and they all have one thing in common – strong self belief. Before they achieved their ideal lifestyle they believed; 1. it was possible, 2. they were capable, and 3. they were worthy. These three core beliefs hold great power. Henry Ford is quoted as saying, “If you believe you can, or you believe you can’t, you’re probably right!” Wise words! Do you believe you can do anything you truly put your mind to? If you believe you can, you will go to great lengths to prove yourself right.

I know it’s easy to say “Just believe in yourself and everything will start to work out,” but how do you develop a powerful belief in yourself? Here is a three step plan to get you started:

1. Explore your current thoughts/beliefs. It all starts with awareness. You can only change what you are aware of. Make a list of five thoughts that you have about each of the following. Your:
Life
Body
Time
Relationship(s)
Money
Future prospects
Health
Work

Have a look at what you have written down. What future are these thoughts shaping? Be totally honest and objective with yourself. How many opportunities are you missing by thinking these thoughts? What needs to change? Once you’ve identified some limiting beliefs you can start working on getting rid of them and focus on building empowering alternatives.

2. Counter any limiting thoughts. Look at the thoughts you’ve written down that you believe need to change and counter them. Sometimes, just saying and considering the opposite is enough to begin the process of shifting them. For example, change “I’m too old” into “I’m just the right age to do what I want to do.”

3. Use accelerators. Accelerators are powerful references drawn from your past history. For example, ask yourself “what compliments or positive experiences have I had in (choose one of the areas in step 1)?” Dig deep and think back as far as you need to go. Finding answers to these types of questions make the new belief more believable.

You’ll know when you’re breaking out of the box of self imposed thinking, old conditioning, learned self doubt, and imagined thresholds of success – you’ll feel more alive, spontaneous and open to all that is really possible.

Look out for the next post on life skill #2. Align with your inner guidance system

This is a cross-post from Midlife Maverick, a blog Colin Hiles founded to help you follow your smile, discover your right livelihood and create your ideal life.